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Starring: Pepsi, Brighty, Frog, Dappy, Flame, Ferno, and Kenny!
Co-written by: Pepsi (cookiemotepepsi)
Note: This is for humor and comedy purposes only. Offense should not be taken upon any reader. No people were hurt in the making of this skit. These aren't real actors, and are unpaid.
Pepsi: *nods*
Frog: How many of you girls know how to turn on a guy?
Dappy: NOT ME!
Frog: Well, I'm sure lots of girls know how. But does everyone know how to turn off a guy?
Dappy: I DO!
Pepsi: Dap... SSH. *covers her mouth*
Dappy: ...
Brighty: A team of Guyologists-
Pepsi: Guyologists?
Dappy: Guyologist; a person who studies guys.
Pepsi: Is that even a real word?
Dappy: Probably not. But OH WELL!
Brighty: As I was saying... A team Of Guyologists has discovered new and improved ways to seem repulsive!
Frog: That team of Guyologists was us! *sexy wink*
Pepsi: Please be sure to remember that nobody in these segments are actual couples and are acting on camera! And we begin!
Segment 1: What To Do On A Date.
Dinner
Dappy: Ladies, welcome to our first segment on what to do on a date. Today we have Pepsi and Kenny eating dinner at Kenny's house. Let's see what Pepsi does... and more importantly, Kenny's reaction.
Pepsi: So... Kenny... This hot dog tastes amazing...
Kenny: T-thanks....?
Pepsi: *stuffs whole hot dog in her mouth* *chews loudly*
Dappy: You see how our friend Pepsi is being absolutely repulsive and disgusting as she chews with her mouth open. Watch as chewed food flies onto Kenny's face. Pepsi is doing magnificently. Let's see what she does next!
Pepsi: *chugs Mountain Dew* *burps loudly* WOO! *blows it in Kenny's face* Bet you can't top that one, Kenny!
Kenny: *eye twitch* *gags*
Pepsi: *picks food out of teeth* So, Kenny, wanna get it on later? If you know what I mean. *wink, wink*
Kenny: N-no... no thanks.
Pepsi: *takes Kenny's hotdog* *takes huge bite* *talks with mouth full* Kiss me Kenny!
Kenny: I'M OUT OF HERE! *takes off running*
Pepsi: *thumbs up* *grins at camera*
Dappy: Very nicely done, Pepsi! Everyone give our friend a round of applause! You see how Kenny fled his own house to get away from the mighty disgusting Pepsi? Anyone have any comments?
Frog: I loved that burp! That was a sexy burp.
Brighty: And the way she asked him to kiss her when she had hot dog in her mouth! Brilliant!
Dappy: With that said, let's move on to our next part of the segment!
Movies
Frog: This is the next part of our "What Not To Do On A Date" segment! As you can see, Dappy and Flame are on a date. Let's see what how repulsed Flame can get by Dappy, although it surely isn't hard for anyone to be repulsed by her!
Dappy: FLAME! I WANT POPCORN!
Flame: *winces* Dapplez we just sat down. And can you please keep your voice down some?
Dappy: I WANT POPCORN! AND WILL YOU GET ME A ROOTBEER? AND SKITTLES!
Flame: *sighs* Fine... *gets up*
Dappy: AND GUMMY WORMS! AND PIZZA! AND TACOS!
Flame: Dapplez, they don't serve tacos here.
Dappy: I WANT TACOS! I WANT EVERYTHING ON THE MENU!
Flame: Of course you do... I'll be back. *walks off*
Frog: You noticed how Dappy is being extremely loud? That's a perfect way to get on a guy's nerves. Poor Flame will be broke by the time the movie is finished! Not to mention he's going to look like a pig carrying everything back. Let's see what happens next!
Flame: *comes back carrying a bunch of food* Dapplez... I spent all my money. Happy now?
Dappy: SHH! THE MOVIE IS STARTING! WHAT'D YOU GET ALL THE FOOD FOR? PIG!
Flame: *sighs* *sits down*
Dappy: *sticks handful of popcorn in her mouth* *chews loudly with mouth open*
Frog: As you can see here, Dappy is also using the chewing method. It's very effective as you can see. Very well done!
Flame: Dap... could you keep it down while you eat please? *smiles nervously*
Dappy: SSH! I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE!
Flame: *sighs* *buries face in hands*
Dappy: YOU'LL NEVER GUESS BUT- SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!
Flame: We're not even at a Harry Potter movie!
Dappy: SSH!!!
Flame: I can't take this. *gets up* *leaves*
Dappy: BABY COME BACK!!! *runs after him*
Frog: And that is how you f*** up a movie date! Very nicely done, Dappy. You did well. Any comments?
Pepsi: I thought she did a good job with the demanding of food, and then acted like Flame got it all for himself and called him a Pig! That was great!
Dappy: Thanks! I felt kind of bad afterwards, though.
Brighty: Oh, Dap. It's just acting.
Dappy: Yeah... I know.
Brighty: The date wasn't real, Dappy.
Dappy: I know...
Brighty: Well, that leads us to the next part of our segment!
Meeting His Parents
Brighty: In this video you'll see our very own Frog meeting Ferno's parents for the first time! This could be a real difficult concept, especially for being repulsive. It isn't hard for your boyfriend's Mother to dislike you. Nonetheless, watch this video to find the best- I mean worst ways to act when meeting his parents!
Ferno: Okay... now... Frog, don't do anything stupid.
Frog: When have I ever done anything stupid and embarrassed you?
Ferno: *facepalm* Just come on.
Ferno's Mom: Nice to meet you, Frog!
Frog: Nice to pee on your shoes, Mrs. Ferno's Mom! *pees on her shoes*
Ferno's Mom: Ugh! *backs away* That's disgusting!
Brighty: Bingo! Those were the words we were looking for! "That's disgusting"! Frog did a good job with that one! Let's see how much damage Frog can do!
Ferno: FROG! What're you doing?!
Frog: Marking my territory!
Ferno: *eye twitch* Stop this, Frog! Stop right now!
Ferno's Dad: Ferno! What a nice young lady you've brought over!
Frog: *burps loudly*
Brighty: Frog also used the loud burping technique which can be used in most situations! Very repulsively done, Frog!
Frog: I like bananas!
Ferno: Frog... cut it out.
Frog: I like your banana, Ferno.
Ferno: *eye twitch* *walks out*
Frog: YAY!
Brighty: We will be right back to our show after the break! To be continued!
Literature
She always fell for boys who needed saving.
She always fell for boys who needed saving.
Giving them kisses in the dark
to numb their headache from
drinking too much and yet
not enough to kill lust.
She was always adored by boys, who,
if given the chance, would rebuild
the world for her.
But she wanted to be the heroine
and refused to see
she needed saving, too.
Literature
R.I.P Words
Do you know what it feels like?
To feel something, but...
be unable to express what it is;
to be silent;
to fight it alone.
I know how much it hurts,
but I don't know how to show it.
Poetry used to be my refuge,
a place where I could be alone -
express all my emotions,
without being judged.
I'm losing it.
I can't connect to poetry.
Everything sounds so stupid...
Everything I write sounds stupid.
I have to erase all my feelings,
because they don't sound right.
The words aren't real.
They don't show what I feel
And maybe this will be the last.
Maybe I'm gone:
lost of all emotions.
I'm truly alone...
I used to have poetry.
Now I have not
Literature
You're Not?
You're anorexic if you're thin
You're not? Then you're obese.
If you're different, you're insane
You're not? Then you're a fake.
If you're happy, you're hiding something.
You're not? You must be emo.
If you're dating, you're a slut.
You're not? You must have no friends.
If you're popular, you're a jerk.
You're not? You're a nobody.
If you're quiet, you must be disabled.
You're not? You obnoxious freak.
If you're you, you're wrong.
You're not?
Then you must be perfect.
Suggested Collections
This is to be continued because it was taking forever and driving me crazy! I hope you like it!
Please note that these are all fake dates!!!
Please note that these are all fake dates!!!
© 2012 - 2024 AnnieBird
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-dead-
Docter: Studying her body for any signs of death.
Docter2: She died of laughter
Docter3: Someone made her laugh.
Police: Which goes for murder.
Docter1: The last person she was with.
Police2: Was her father.
Police3: But she had read something that made her laugh.
All: Dapplezisabeast you are under arrest.
Lolol that's so awesome!
Docter: Studying her body for any signs of death.
Docter2: She died of laughter
Docter3: Someone made her laugh.
Police: Which goes for murder.
Docter1: The last person she was with.
Police2: Was her father.
Police3: But she had read something that made her laugh.
All: Dapplezisabeast you are under arrest.
Lolol that's so awesome!